"Caspien, " something whispered. It was on the edge of my mind, but someone had called my name.
"Caspien," again it called. It was closer this time, it was female, and I was pretty sure it was someone I knew, someone I cared for deeply. But it was still too far away for me to recognize.
"Caspien," the voice said, it was almost musical. Upon hearing my name called for the third time, my eyes snapped open. It was a confusing few seconds as I tried to readjust from the inner depths of my mind back into the real world. My senses would have been overwhelmed if I had not known to prepare myself. I slowly started to get my bearings. Standing in front of me were a pair of legs. Not just a pair of legs I corrected myself, an entire person was standing in front of me. Female, beautiful. I could think of a lot worse ways to wake up. Then she spoke, her voice tinged with amusement.
"Hey, ya think I could drag you away from looking at my legs long enough to have a conversation?"
I immediately shot my head upwards, not even taking a moment to chide myself for being so rude. My heart sank. Yes indeed, this was someone I knew very well, and all I had done for the past minute was stare at her legs. I screwed up this time, I just knew it.
"Sorry Aella," I ended up muttering, "and of course I can talk to you. Your legs aren't that great!" I smirked, hoping she couldn't tell that I was lying through my teeth.
"What is it I can do for you this fine afternoon?"
"Nothing much. I'm just curious if you would mind going hunting with me?"
Spending the afternoon with Aella hunting would have been great. And she didn't invite me to go with her very often; it was usually the other way around, claiming she would feel bad if something happened to me, seeing that I was such a poor fighter. It didn't matter to me though, for spending time with her was my goal, or at least it normally was. Today I had a different goal, one she had interrupted.
"No," I mumbled " I can't go with you today." If there was any disappointment in her face, it wasn't there for long. And what it was replaced by was something that was quite easy to discern.
Aella smiled, sort of. It was a cross between something sweet and something you did not want to mess with. "Fine, don't come. Your loss. Besides, you'd probably just get in my way."
I put on my best smile and replied with another jab about her legs. She stormed off, fuming about men and their total lack of something. I missed the last part of her comment, but I had a good idea what she was saying.
With Aella gone, and no other distractions, I reset myself, and tried to clear my mind of all thought. Cautiously I slipped back into my trance, hoping the answers I desperately was looking for would present themselves.

In the room of contemplation- Fighters' Guild

"Caspien," something said softly. It was there, at the back of my mind, just out of my grasp though.
"Caspien," it said again but louder and more forceful. It was closer, male for sure, someone I knew and had respect for, and a lingering amount of fear. Still it sat there on the edge of my mind; I had no clue that it was.
"Caspien!" It spoke again, but this time it wasn't a question but a matter-of-fact statement. Upon hearing my name called for the third time, my eyes snapped open. It was a confusing few seconds. I hadn't prepared myself for the rush of all my senses coming back to me at once. The voice had not allowed me the time. In front of me were a pair of legs. Bits of mail and plate hung from the legs, very muscular, very scary. This time I remembered to look up. It was Sedillo standing in front of me, Ranger, Knight, and Kali knows what else. He looked at me quizzically then spoke.
"If I didn't know better young Ranger, I would be convinced you had joined Sir Jihad in becoming a monk!"

"Why would I go off and do a fool thing like that?" I threw him a sarcastic grin, and got myself up onto my feet.
"But I would feel remiss if I did not tell you that I had indeed spoken to Jihad about becoming a monk, and he believes I will become a fine follower of that tradition."
I think I startled him with that one, because his face grew white and he stumbled over the words he was trying to get out. Yes indeed, I had startled him. Why, I wondered?
"Well, if that is the path you choose to follow I will not interfere," was all he could reply, or all I could decipher from what he said.
Seeing that perhaps I had said something wrong I spoke up.
"What is it that I can do for you Sir Sedillo? I trust all is well with Moorgate?"
With that mention of Moorgate he became more himself, and not that startled person he had just been.
"No, no Moorgate is fine, or as fine is it is going to be. You've been in here quite awhile, nearly nine hours as I can tell. Aella had asked me to keep an eye on you since my duties required me to stay at the guild all day. I thought perhaps I had better make sure you were ok."
I let a full-blown smile cross my face, and I might have been blushing too. Aella had asked him to keep an eye on me; I felt all warm and fuzzy inside. I would rib her about this for months.
"Thank you for your concern good Knight, but I was only trying to focus, trying to find some answers to some questions I will be forced to make soon."
Sedillo nodded, as if he completely understood. Whether he actually did or his many years of diplomatic practice had taken over, I could not tell.
"Well, I have no idea if the answers you want to find will be where you were looking, but I do know sometimes laying them all out in front of someone else often times sheds more light upon them than a single person can accomplish."
Sedillo spoke with such a certainty, as if he knew he was right but did not want to make me feel bad for not having come to the same conclusion. Of course he was right, I just did not care to discuss it with him, or for that matter anyone else. I knew he was just trying to be helpful, and I did not want to disappoint him with my answer. I wondered briefly why I cared so much whether or not he was disappointed with me. Yet another thing to ponder upon, I guess.
"That is indeed true, Sir, but I do not think it applies in this case, at least not yet. I would like to see if I cannot figure this out on my own."
He gave the same nod as he had given before. Maybe I should talk to him, since he had done and lived through more things than any man probably should have to, and had endured pain and hardship I could not even begin to imagine. No, Sedillo had his own problems. He was just being courteous. I would solve this myself.
"I thank you for you concern, and if I do decide to seek advice or help from someone else, you will be one of the first beings I go to."
He nodded. Again with that nod. He departed with his customary 'Clear skies' and I returned the gesture by ending his sentence with 'Good Journey'. He seemed to perk up when I finished his phrase. Why, I had no idea. Yet another item to ponder.

In the tunnels of the Drow-Underneath the Dwarven Castle

"This is ridiculous!"
Renns nodded his agreement. We were both stuck underneath the Dwarven castle, far away from our home in Moorgate. There were many of us, but we were getting fewer by the minute.
"We cannot just keep charging into these rooms blindly. There has got to be a better way!"
I looked to Renns, and he nodded again. I was desperately hoping he was about to step up and take command of this debacle. Renns was a Knight, and right now he was as close to a leader as we had. As hard as Ifalna was trying, she was not a warrior, and her tactics, which might have worked well in an open field, were allowing the Drow an easy time to pick us off.
Both Renns and I tried to get the others to listen. No one seemed to care. They would exclaim 'It is not like we are going to be dead forever' or 'Who cares? It's for a King'. I could do nothing but try and make sure that less of them would die. I was quite upset that the King's selected party cared so little about death taking for granted that they would wake up. Life was never a guaranteed thing.
After a time Renns and I came up with our own tactic. Three seconds after the others would charge in, we would follow, hoping that those in front of us would have the full attention of the Drow, and quite frankly it was working. Working together Renns and I would go into the room take out a few of the Drow, which in turn would make the other Drow take heed of us and allow the others in the group to finish them off. It was still bloody and could have been done better, but it was the best Renns and I could come up with.
For nearly a day we battled underneath the castle. We would go charging into a room take out the Drow there, and move onto the next room. It wasn't perfect but it was slowly working. Sometime during the battle Sir Jihad had joined the group. People were listening to him, and things started to move a bit more smoothly. We finally came to the last group of Drow. The battle was long and furious, and in the end, I got to see something I had never seen before.
I knew there were a couple of thieves in the group. They had been unlocking doors, poisoning our weapons, and basically being the terror that they were known for being. If I had not seen it myself I would have thought it impossible, but Midnightrogue had come out of nowhere. She caught the Queen of the Drow while she was distracted and literally took off her head. I for one was happy that it was finally over, though some whined about not being able to get the last shot. I sensed in the King as well disappointment that he had not bludgeoned her to death. But it was over finally. After a day of hard fighting, the battle had been won.
The King was grateful, as any King would have been to people who had just saved his kingdom. That was enough for me. I despised what had occurred and just wanted to return to the relative safety of Moorgate. But the King did something I had not expected of him. He paid each and every one of the individuals there a large sum of gold. Some dropped to the floor, others bowed, and still others started blabbering. I for one was disgusted. Was all we were to him hired mercenaries? Did he think that was what the fine people of Moorgate were? That he could just buy off all the death and destruction? I reiterated those thoughts to everyone there, to see if anyone agreed with what I said. Not one of them spoke up about it. I activated my ring and whisked myself from that awful place. Gold! Bah! They had whored themselves out as far as I was concerned. It was not that they didn't deserve it, or that they could not have used it. It was just the mere thought of selling oneself for that sort of work that made me sick. There was no way I was keeping this gold. Giving it back to the King would be pointless, and donating it to the guild wouldn't be right either. The Fighter's guild was not for sale! Was it? I sighed to myself. I knew what I had to do with all that gold.
I put my bow and my knife into my footlocker and prepared myself for another sea voyage. The family of the Drow I had killed deserved this gold; there was no better way to use it.

One day later,
Outside the front gates of the Fighter's Guild-Moorgate

I looked back at the guild, wondering if I would ever see it again. I had spent the rest of the previous day trying to get some rest. My body was still sore from the battle, but it was manageable, but I could not wait any longer to return to find the Drow. They needed to know what happened. It was their right to know.
I started my long walk towards the dock, where I would catch a ship bound for the Dwarves' war-ravaged Kingdom. The Drow surely still had a camp somewhere in that region; I would just have to find it.
"Caspien! Hey Caspien!"
I growled. "Not now Aella. I can't go hunting with you right now"
I turned around only to see Aella face taking on a hurt look. Once again I had screwed up. What was it with her and me?
"I'm sorry Aella,"I said solemnly" I didn't mean to snap at you. I am going away for awhile, back to the dwarves Kingdom to see if I can find the Drow."
The hurt look was replaced with an astonished look.
"But why?" she asked. "You can't possibly go alone, and especially not without any way to defend yourself."
There was such concern in her face. For all her ribbing about my fighting skills, she knew I was good. Yet she looked as though she was about to burst into tears.
I was about to explain to her that this was just something I had to do, and there was no one else that was going to do it, but before I could another voice interrupted.
"Aella! Caspien! Hey you two! I need to speak with y'all for a moment."
Sedillo approached us at a dead gallop. What was his deal? Couldn't he just leave me alone? Sedillo got closer and saw Aella's face and whatever he had wanted to say he immediately forgot about.
"Aella, what's wrong?" he asked.
She told him everything. About how I had gotten the foolish idea of going off and finding the Drow, and about how I was not taking any of my weapons with me. Sedillo looked, well, he looked proud. It wasn't something I expected, nor I completely understood, but there he was looking as though his own son had just done something of utmost importance.
"Well," he said "If Caspien plans on going, I don't see any reason why he shouldn't or for that matter why I can't tag along with him."
I was tempted to roll my eyes but stopped myself. If Sedillo invited himself there was little if anything I could do to stop him.
"Then I shall go as well!" Aella shouted.
"Nope, no way, you're not going!" I blurted that out before I even knew I was saying it.
"Yes I am, aren't I, Sedillo?" she looked rather victoriously towards Sedillo. Sedillo merely nodded.
"Great, come, I don't care. I will get you killed with me. It will be a great time!" There was nothing I could do. And if I couldn't convince Sedillo not to come, there was no way I would even get Aella to start to listen to me.
So there we were, Three Rangers, no bows, no swords and almost 50,000 gold pieces, sure this was going to work. We boarded the ship and headed towards our deaths most likely...

North shore-Dwarven Kingdom

"Ok we are off then. Sir Sedillo, it was a pleasure sailing with you."
The Captain of the vessel spoke loudly enough for us to hear him over the rain. He bowed towards Sedillo, and Sedillo returned the gesture. We discovered that Sedillo was an expert mariner, and had managed to save the Captain's ship from running directly into the squall that was now pounding us. Since then, the Captain basically turned the ship over to Sedillo's command. Sedillo directed and steered the ship clear of the storm while still keeping us on course. As the Captain told it, no other man he'd known had ever done anything close to that. The Captain, being a drunk and a dimwitted sort, did not make me believe that he could be the judge of such a thing, but I kept my mouth closed. All that mattered was that we had arrived, intact, and no worse for wear.
"So young Rangers, what is our next step?"
Aella shrugged and I had not gotten past the actual arrival part. So I put on my best smile and used my best strut and shouted, "We shall go this way!"
I started walking off towards the south, towards what looked to be a road. I looked back and saw Aella and Sedillo jogging after me, so I decided to go ahead and jog myself, just for the exercise, of course. Aella, short as she was, was catching up to me more quickly than I had expected. Sedillo on the other hand was lagging far behind.
"You've been riding a horse far too long Sedillo - your legs no longer appear to work!" I turned around and started jogging backwards, and then I did the strangest thing. I burst out laughing. I laughed at Sedillo and his funny little run. When Sedillo finally caught up with us, he just kept running but this time he was at a dead run. No longer looking awkward, he already put a decent distance between himself and us. Then, he did the strangest thing. He turned around, gave me a knowing smile and did a back handspring and kept chugging right along. My mouth dropped open, and all I could think to say was 'Oops'.
Aella just smirked at me, and started laughing her head off.

On the Northern Causeway-Near the Dwarven Castle

"Well, should we go to the castle?" Aella asked.
It was probably the right thing to do. Of course the last time I saw the King, I had publicly denounced him for hiring mercenaries to fight his wars.
"I have a better idea," Sedillo announced. " Wait right here." With that, he disappeared. It was near dusk, I noticed, but at least the rain had stopped. I watched Aella gathering some wood near the road, and joined her.
"Wonder where he went?" she asked.
"I haven't the foggiest, maybe he decided to go see the King" I suggested. "Wherever he is, I wish he would get back here." It wasn't that I thought I couldn't take care of myself, but I wasn't sure if I could take care of Aella too.
She made herself a little fire and was unpacked a pear from the pouch she had attached around her belt. I sat down across from her, too scared to actually sit next to her. I tried to think of something to say but was at a loss of words.
"Here." From her pouch she tossed me an apple. I tried to catch it but ended up fumbling it around until it finally left my grasp and landed on the ground. Aella giggled and made some off-the-wall comment about clumsy rangers. I could do nothing but grin. Her laugh cut through me like nothing else I had ever encountered. I became weak when she did it, and I think she knew it too.
"Psssstttttt!" a whisper called. "Pssssssssstttttt!" it called again. Someone was in the bushes next to the road.
"Put that fire out and get your butts over here!"
It was Sedillo, thank Kali. But why was he in the bushes and why didn't he dare speak above the whisper? Aella already had begun to move. She quickly smothered the fire and gathered her things. She was at the bush before I even began to move. When I finally arrived at the bush, Sedillo had moved a bit more out into the open, and there was another man standing beside him.
"Ok I want you to go down into this tunnel and follow him until he stops" Sedillo said. The instructions were fairly clear and indeed there was a tunnel underneath the bushes.
The man went down first, only he wasn't a man, he was a Drow. I followed right after him, then turned back to make sure Aella got down safely. Sedillo followed behind her, and we set off. I didn't think these were the same tunnels I had fought in a few days ago, but I couldn't be sure. The tunnels gradually became illuminated with light, and widened the further we went, until we came into one very large chamber. In it were almost two dozen Drow. Mostly Young females and children, though there were a few wounded men. The Drow we had followed spoke to the room in a language I didn't understand and then led us off into an anti-chamber. There he sat down on the floor and gestured for us to do the same.
"Is it true what Sedillo has told me?" he looked at me, or rather he stared at me, I tried to hold his gaze but had to turn away.
"Well, I do not know what Sedillo has told you, but I assume he wouldn't lie about why I came, so yes." I tried to sound as sure of myself as I could, but I was anything but confidant. If the Drow decided that I would need to pay for what I had done, they had the perfect opportunity to do it, and take a couple of my friends with me.
"Sedillo told me you had a story to tell the Drow. Well, here we are. So tell me."
I relived the past couple of days for him. About how the King had come asking for help, how we had invaded the tunnels underneath the castle, and how after we had won the king had paid us a large sum of gold. The Drow nodded the same type of nod Sedillo was known for giving. If he was mad or angry he was hiding it well, and he seemed to be quite interested in my story.
"It is a brave thing you've done, coming here to tell us this story. Why did you do it?"
"It had to be done, " I explained, "No one else would have come, and I wanted the Drow to have this." I dropped my pack onto the ground in front of the Drow. It clinked as it hit the ground and an astonished expression came over the Drow's face.
"I would like to hope that the gold goes toward feeding and caring for the families who have suffered, but no matter what you use it for, it is your gold as far as I am concerned."
"Terrian will make sure that it is used specifically for that purpose." Sedillo said.
So that was his name - Terrian. It seemed familiar, but I could not place it. Terrian nodded.
"Yes, I will make sure that it is used only for that," he announced. Then he looked at me and then at Aella. "And if I may ask, what is your name and that of your girlfriend's?"
I looked at Aella, not sure if I should bring her name into this, but she was already on her feet.
"I am not his girlfriend, and I resent the fact that you thought I was!" Aella huffed and stamped her foot on the ground. I grimaced, hoping that the other Drow did not coming rushing in to see what all the screaming was.
" I apologize Miss," Terrian said sincerely, " I usually do not make mistakes like that."
Before Aella could speak again, I interrupted her and gave both our names and then went on to thank Terrian for making sure that the gold was well used. When I mentioned my name Terrian looked over to Sedillo with a questioning look on his face. Sedillo only nodded, and Terrian nodded back.
"Well, my friends we do not have much here, but you must stay the night and take what hospitality we can offer." I wasn't in the mood to argue and I was very tired. Terrian left and soon returned with some food and two sleeping pallets. He then asked if he could take Sedillo away for a while, that he had much to discuss with him. Not thinking, I agreed and replied that Sedillo could take care of himself, since he had proven that many times over. Terrian wished Aella and myself a good night's rest and promised to have us back on our way by morning. Then he and Sedillo departed the anti-chamber.
"Well, that was interesting." I gather up the pallets and handed one to Aella then took my own and laid it out in the corner. She took hers and went to the opposite corner. I could tell she was still upset about Terrian's observation.
"I am sure he was just picking up on my signals towards you. The whole way through the tunnels, I was making him slow down so that I could make sure you were ok."
She only snorted and mentioned something about not needing clumsy Rangers to look out for her. I settled down into my pallet and tried to think of something to say. All I could come up with was 'Sleep well Aella' and Thanks for coming'. Whether she heard me or not I guess I will never know because she did not respond. I sighed heavily and drifted off into sleep.

On a Drow Ship-Middle of the ocean
"Caspien? Are you ok?" Aella smiled from above me. She was so beautiful; I've got to tell her how I feel!
"Yes, Aella, I'm well and you?"
"Oh I'm fine, I was just curious if I could ask you a question?" 'Sure' I replied.
"Remember a couple of days ago when I talked to you in the Contemplation room? What were you doing?"
I thought about how best to answer that. It had indeed only been a few days since I had tried using a monk technique that would lower oneself into a trance, where it was said to help you find answers.
"Well, basically I was trying to decide what my next step in life would be Aella"
She seemed to think about it for a time and then asked, "So have you decided anything?"
I pondered for a good long minute. No actually I was no closer to finding answers than I had been days before. Or was I? I looked up at Aella. I smiled and answered her. "Yes, in fact, I think I do have a few answers." I smiled again. I would tell Aella how I felt, and that had to be a start to finding answers.
I was just about to tell Aella more, when Sedillo interrupted.
"Caspien. Caspien." He called, he was fast approaching and he had ruined my opportunity to talk with Aella.
Sedillo sighed heavily. "Caspien, may I speak with you?" He looked towards Aella. "Alone?"
I agreed and glanced over at Aella to make sure she was ok with it. She waved me off and went to the stern of the ship to watch the seagulls.
I followed Sedillo down into the Captains office, where he sat down on a comfortable-looking bench and asked me to sit next to him. What was it with Sedillo and the Captain's ship?
"Do you remember the first time I met you, Caspien?"
I nodded. Sedillo had saved my life back when I was just a lad. Regent Trollhater, Sir Jihad, and Sedillo had fought off an army of trolls who were attacking a temple just north of my family's farm. I had stopped by to see my friend Min as well as to drop off some of the grain my father stocked away for the winter. The temple had become sort of a haven for those who had nothing and my father would give the temple as much grain as he could spare, sometimes more. My father always said if you can help, then you better get to it. Don't wait around for someone else to help when you can do it yourself.
After the battle was won and Sedillo healed Sir Jihad's wounds, he escorted me home. The cart and the mule that I used to transport the grain had been destroyed and Sedillo felt responsible for replacing it.
"Do you remember when I met your folks?"
I nodded again. "Sure. You explained what had happened and that you wanted to replace the cart and the mule. My Father flat out refused to accept anything from you, and then left the house to see if he could salvage the cart."
Sedillo nodded. "Did you ever wonder why your father refused to accept my help?"
"I just figured that he did not want any charity." I shrugged towards him. I wondered why he's bringing all this up.
"Well, your father was a proud man, and he didn't refuse help just because he was stubborn. He had a reason, a reason that I didn't find out 'til much later. The day your mom died."
I tried to not show it, but the pain from watching my mother die came back. She had not been that old, but she had come down with something that left her very weak. She lay in bed for nearly two months before she died. No shaman or doctor could figure out what was wrong. Tears started rolling down my face. I wiped them away.
"What does that have to do with anything?" I asked indignantly.
Sedillo gulped and started to explain that when he was 16 he had met this maiden. She was beautiful, and that he had fallen deeply in love with her. The only problem was that she was going to be married to a farmer next spring, so Sedillo did not have a chance to tell her his feelings.
I know the look on my face must have been horrifying. I was still wiping away tears and was mad as hell about him bringing up my mother and then going off on this tangent about maidens!
Sedillo gulped again and continued. "Anyhoo," he said, "I forgot all about her for a time, and then one day while passing a river I accidentally saw her taking a bath."
"Oh yeah, as if—" I blurted out. Sedillo looked away from me and kept going.
"She caught me and instead of running away she asked me to fetch her clothes off the tree branch for her. I brought her clothes to her and then she sat down and started to comb out her hair, We started talking and one thing lead to another—"
"Stop! Just Stop! What does this have to do with anything?"
"Well, after that day I never saw her again, that is until the day I brought you home."
He looked at me, and I stared right back at him. "So?" was all I could think of saying.
Sedillo hung his head. "I don't think you understand."
That was for sure. I had not understood one damn thing he had said. I started to stand and leave the room, but he pushed me back down on the bench.
"Your mother was the maiden." He looked directly into my eyes. He was crying, and wasn't even trying to hide it!
"Huh?" was all I could get out. "So my mom was this love of yours. So what? It doesn't mean anything."
Sedillo turned away again, wiped his hand across his eyes and started to speak.
"Caspien, if I had known, I would have come for you. I didn't know. Not until your mom told me on her deathbed, and by then you were almost grown." He turned around and faced me again. " I am so sorry."
"Sorry for what?" I asked. I did not understand anything he was saying. I stood up and started to leave the room.
"Remember when I said your father had a reason for not accepting my help?"
I turned around and put the most disgusted look I could on my face.
"The reason why he did not want my help was because he did not want me around. He didn't want to be reminded that he was not your father." With that, he turned back around and hung his head.

On the Western beach-Cosrin

"Thank you Captain, your ship is as fine as any I've sailed on." Sedillo shook the Captain's hand, as did Aella and I. I also added a thank you for both Aella and me for the safe journey.
And with the ship heading for open water, that was that. I had completed my mission, and with the help of a friend and a person I thought I knew, I had even survived it.
"Well, Aella, you are shaping up to be a fine Ranger. If you ever need anything, don't hesitate to ask." Sedillo patted Aella on the back and Aella gave him a smile in return.
Sedillo nodded towards me. I just turned my back. What did he want from me? I hope he did not expect me to start thinking of him as my father, because he wasn't. The man who raised me was my father, the one who still worked on the farm and watched over the fields. That was my father, not some has-been Ranger.
Sedillo just smiled and gave a quick wave and jogged off towards Moorgate.
"Ouch!" I yelped as Aella slugged me in the shoulder.
"How dare you treat him like that!" she shouted. "After all the help he provided you, you should be thanking him!"
"Aella, you don't understand." I hung my head and started to kick a rock down the causeway. "Sedillo and I will never get along."
"Well, make me understand. What did he say to you when you two were alone?" She moved to stand in front of me, and forced me stop. She looked right up at me, staring into my eyes. Concern was written all over her face, and I knew she wasn't going to just leave this be.
"Aella, he is—" I coughed.
"He is what?"
"My father," I coughed again.
"He's WHAT?"
"He's my father, ok? My dad. He's the one who made it possible for me to live, ok? You happy now?"
"Oh—oh, I see, and you didn't know—" she didn't have to continue. She now understood why I had been avoiding Sedillo on the ship and why I had acted the way I did. And instead of admonishing me some more, or trying to tell me how I needed to apologize to him, she just took my hand in hers, and laid her head against my shoulder, and walked me back to the guild.